Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
