is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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