At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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