It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
