Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
