girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
