He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
