i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
