he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
