every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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