Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
