do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
no you cant smoke seaweed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
