Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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