He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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