we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
