he shaved USA in his pubs
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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