Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
