Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
