your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
