Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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