I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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