Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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