You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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