Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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