"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize