Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
