You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
