i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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