She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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