This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
