Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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