I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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