And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize