Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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