when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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