hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize