this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
