True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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