My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize