I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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