I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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