do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
