I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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