she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
