shes about as inviting as chlamydia
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
