Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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