someone get that fucking seahorse.
Your dad touched me again.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
