I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
why is half of my head shaved?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
