There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
