I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize