What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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