Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
