In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
