the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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