Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
They have beer where we have blood.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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