Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
