i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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