I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
