I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
