You just made me feel so damn special
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
