What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
where are my eyebrows?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
