I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
