This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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