I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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