How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
