This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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