video games are the ultimate cock blocker
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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