she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
