all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
