Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I will be naked everywhere
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
