It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just found puke in my bra..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
