Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
