i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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