She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
