Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize