Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
thus making me awesome and them whores
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
