her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
