Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
