people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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