dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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