Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
